I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize