i barfeds in our rink
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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