Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
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He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
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Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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