you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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