I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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