I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize