i would punch a child for taco bell
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
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