i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
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i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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