the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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