I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
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I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
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I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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