i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
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Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
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Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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