I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize