He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You just made me feel so damn special
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
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Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
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Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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