The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
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I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize