her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize