I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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