Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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