what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
dude. I can hear the air.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize