Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize