Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize