OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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