Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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