You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize