oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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