Sry I called you an 8
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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