we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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