It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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