Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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