In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize