Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize