i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
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we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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