Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize