Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize