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I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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