You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I think I died a long time ago.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize