i can't believe i had my finger in that
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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