She is in my trunk
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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