you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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