Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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