well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
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Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
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I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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