And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt know i had herpes?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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