he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize