im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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