Four minutes until I can fart!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize