is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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