My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize