What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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