a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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