he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize