god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
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It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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